Royally Drained (V.I.L.F. #1) by Fritzi Cox
ABOUT THE BOOK
From jilted princess bride to a revenge plot fit for a king, this charming couple is royally screwed …
As I lived my best royal life, my only job as a princess was to find and marry a handsome prince. Too bad Prince Theo turned out to be more of a toad. After I began losing my powers, he lost interest in our upcoming wedding. Not only did Theo leave me at the altar, but he also banished me and my merry band of misfits from the Kingdom of Poppycock forever. Talk about a walk of shame! From enchanted castle to crumbling cottage, I’m now stuck in Morningwood, struggling to plot my next move.
This strange little town, full of mischief and magic, is the perfect place to hide while I practice my spells and hopefully regain my powers. What could possibly go wrong? Other than accidentally summoning a mysterious male vampire who throws me off my quest and gets my blood boiling in all the right places. And my blood is exactly what Vail and his brotherhood need for their top-secret laboratory. Who would have thought my charming royal genes could help their dangerous mission?
As long as Vail keeps his fangs to himself, we won’t have a problem. His hands though? That’s another story entirely. My taste for revenge is strong, but his taste for me is stronger.
Could this be my fairy-tale ending? Or am I destined to live a nightmare?
Author’s note: Royally Drained is a paranormal romcom with a few dark themes. This is book 1 in the VILF series and ends with a cliff-hanger.
Be prepared for a dark fairy tale with a twist! Once upon a time, there was a time-traveling jilted princess who lost her magic. Surrounded by a feisty fairy godmother, a perverted pumpkin, a clever pet fox, a clumsy guardian gargoyle, and classic, but rude Mirror, Mirror, she asks the help of an evil witch and a brotherhood of vampires to get her magic back and get revenge on the Not-So-Charming prince who dumped her. In return, she will donate her royal blood to help their secret cause to cure vampirism.
With his grace and my bubbly personality, we were going places. Except I had no idea where I wanted to go.
The understandably frustrated and independent Princess Penelope is fed up living in a crumbling cottage in Morningwood (yes, that’s the name LOL) Forest. Getting revenge on Theo, Prince F*@kwad as she calls him is her main priority. But first, she has to get her magic back. Two problems: 1) She keeps unexpectedly fading in and out of dimensions from her fairy tale home to a human environment, and 2) She is intrusting her life as a lab rat to an extremely uptight and evil witch and bloodthirsty and unusually friendly vampires. Not to mention she is attracted to the charming (formerly a past Prince Charming to be precise) vampire, Vail.
I knew Penelope was more than a lab rat. She was the cure.
Though vampires have no emotions and no heart, the overly protective and supportive vampire, Vail is intrigued by the beautiful princess. Just a few tastes of her blood have made Penelope much more to Vail. In fact, he’s starting to feel things about her that mean good things for him but may bring danger to her. In fact, her magic is changing, but perhaps not for the better.
Who would have thought a fairy tale princess and a vampire could be happy together? When he tastes her blood, he feels a heartbeat. Romantic, huh? Especially, when he has no heart. But he actually feels something and would do anything for her because she’s “quite literally his sunshine”. And he’s her knight in shining armor willing to help her in her revenge plot. Quite the compelling dynamic between two opposites who attract.
Told in Princess Penelope’s and vampire Vail’s points of view, this dark paranormal comedy has a wonderful collection of colorful characters and a unique plot combining fairy tales and a bit of horror giving the reader a new look at good vs evil. I found it brilliant that the vampires worked at a winery giving wine tasting tours and using DNA from spit cups to further their cause of curing vampirism. Also, the number of LOL moments are many including the drunken goat opening a can of whoop-ass and the antics of the depraved Pumpkin. In addition, supporting characters such as the lovely and quirky Gertie the fairy godmother and Vail’s hot and versatile vampire brothers give the story more depth by making it fun and interesting.
So sit back with a cup of magic bean juice (coffee to us humans) and a pet of your choice (Grumpy goats, welcome) and enjoy a fabulous journey into the sexy and surreal land of diverse and unseemly characters, a dubious and eery setting, and an unexpected cliffhanger ending. I can’t wait to read Book 2.
Thank you to Ms. Cox for giving me the opportunity to read this book with no expectation for a positive review.
- Fritzi Cox Book Box
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Fritzi Cox is a dark soul with a wicked sense of humor. She regularly bathes in the blood of her enemies while sipping champagne and hashtagging her vibes. She’s fond of plotting mayhem, writing spellbinding twists, and tickling her readers with an over-the-top sense of humor. Rumor has it, her alter ego, Kat Addams, is her spirit animal. Or is it the other way around? Either way, expect Fritzi to keep you on your toes!